Post by magicmuggle01 on Apr 13, 2019 9:36:12 GMT
When Quark learns that he is dying, he auctions his vacuum-desiccated body to raise capital. Meanwhile, a shuttle accident prompts Dr. Bashir to transfer Keiko's baby into Major Kira.
Summary
Dax, Chief O'Brien, and Worf are in Ops discussing the trip that Bashir, Kira, and Keiko are on in the Gamma Quadrant. O'Brien frets to Worf and Dax on how he didn't want Keiko to go to Torad V in the first place "in her condition". Meanwhile, in his bar, Quark treats Rom to a glass of snail juice uncharacteristically on the house, to celebrate his return from Ferenginar and to announce that he is dying to all of his customers.
Act One
Quark declares he has Dorek Syndrome with just six days to live, which he learned of after his annual insurance physical. Rom takes some convincing that there's no other recourse, including suggesting talking to Dr. Bashir, but Quark doesn't think that will help. Quark soon turns to the significant debt he has and funeral arrangements to make. Rom suggests selling his vacuum-desiccated remains on the Ferengi Futures Exchange. Quark doesn't believe that will help, as he believes he is not viewed favorably by other Ferengi, "Starfleet's favorite bartender," a joke. Rom insists he try, so Quark agrees.
Shortly afterward in Ops, the USS Volga emerges from the wormhole with severe damage. Worf reports to Captain Sisko that Dr. Bashir has reported two injuries: Kira and Keiko. O'Brien rushes to the infirmary and learns from Kira that Keiko is still in surgery. He also learns that Kira is now carrying his son.
Act Two
O'Brien is now with Sisko and Bashir, who is explaining Keiko was injured in the accident with an asteroid in the Gamma Quadrant. She was stabilized, but Bashir had to move the baby to Kira to save its life and, interestingly, that due to the short gestation period of Bajorans, Kira must carry the baby to term. O'Brien has to process this. Later, Keiko and Kira soon recover and Kira goes to visit Keiko in her quarters, both feeling the weight of what's transpired and Keiko expressing her thanks.
Rom goes to visit Quark to hear about the sale. At first, it seems no one but Rom wants to buy a piece of Quark, which he of course finds insulting. He starts to dismay about his life choices in opening a bar on Deep Space 9, however, Quark is overjoyed to find that an anonymous bidder wants to buy all 52 discs for five hundred bars of latinum. Convinced the anonymous bidder is The Nagus and fearful that the bid will be retracted, Quark accepts the bid and sells his remains. Rom congratulates him.
Quark begins to arrange paying off his debts and arranging his funeral when Bashir informs him that his doctor on Ferenginar, Orpax, had made an error and he is not going to die. Quark is excited about the prospect of suing his doctor for malpractice; the continuation of his life is an afterthought. However, later, Brunt of the FCA arrives at his quarters and explains that he was the anonymous buyer. He condescendingly asks if Quark thought the Nagus placed the bid. The two laugh and agree that it would be a ridiculous idea. Quark explains that he is surprised that Brunt placed the bid and that he is not going to die. Brunt knows this already and has arrived to ensure that his merchandise, 52 discs of vacuum desiccated Quark, will be delivered on time in six days.
Act Three
Quark makes it clear that he is not dying, to which Brunt replies that he does not care that Quark isn't dying: he wants his merchandise. He intends to defile Quark's remains upon receiving them, and will not be talked out of the contract. Quark proceeds to offer Brunt a full refund and progressively larger amounts of latinum to try to convince Brunt to give up the deal. Brunt refuses all offers and tells Quark he will only accept his remains. When Quark asks what Brunt expects him to do, Brunt suggests Quark hire someone to strangle him – that way his body will be unmarked for desiccation. Quark is shocked and says they are not Klingons. Brunt tells Quark that this is personal. Brunt tells Quark that he considers him a menace to Ferengi society, citing the time he protected Quark's mother from an audit and secretly settling a strike at his bar. He loathes Quark for being a philanthropist. He doesn't gouge his customers as much as a Ferengi should. Selling medicine to Bajoran refugees has made him a generous humanitarian who has gone "Starfleet". All of this gives other Ferengi a bad name.
Quark begs that he can reform – that he can gouge his customers more and revoke his employee's vacation time. Brunt is disgusted by Quark's giving his employees vacation time and proceeds to start to leave the room. Quark cuts him off and tries to make another deal with him – surely there is another accommodation that Quark can make besides suicide? Brunt tells him the only way out is to break the contract. He wonders if Quark is Ferengi enough to keep the contract and hopes that he will break it. He wants to see Quark's assets sold to the lowest bidder, his mother begging on the street, and to have Quark cut off from all contact with his people. Brunt says that Quark is a disease, and that it is his job to cut him off.
Miles helps Keiko to a chair in their quarters. Keiko tells Miles that she has invited Kira over for dinner. The two agree that even seeing Kira every day would not be enough time for them to spend with their unborn child. She expresses frustration at having to make appointments to see her own child. Neither of them knows what to do.
Quark visits Garak's shop. He is busy helping Morn and informs Quark that his pants will not be ready for another week. Quark tells him he is there in order to hire him as an assassin. Garak feigns ignorance and says that before he was a tailor he was a gardener. Quark is not so easily dissuaded and tells him he still wants to hire him. Rom initially believes that Quark will have Brunt assassinated, but Quark reveals that he is the one that is to be killed.
Act Four
Rom is upset about Quark's intentions to go through with the contract. Quark explains that he is like no one else in their family; he is a Ferengi businessman. He will go through with the contract. His life is about his business and that means that he follows the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, and he will not stop following them if they are inconvenient. He is confident that if he continues to follow the Rules that he will find himself in the Divine Treasury after his death. Because he will have died the way he lived: as a Ferengi. He and Garak then leave to discuss the method of his death.
Kira visits Keiko and O'Brien to show them how much the baby is kicking. Kira is concerned but Keiko tells Kira that this is good, and that she thought Molly would kick her way of out. Keiko thanks Kira for sharing this with them. The two discuss the differences between Human and Bajoran pregnancies, and the fact that they do not know what Kira's symptoms will be because the baby is Human. Bajorans do not get morning sickness, but instead suffer from uncontrollable sneezing. Miles gets Kira a special pillow for her lower back. They invite her to remain for dinner and initially Kira does not want to impose. But Keiko insists that since Kira is carrying her baby she is now family and that besides dinner, the O'Briens also want to make a proposal.
Quark is eating dinner at the bar. Garak sneaks up behind him and breaks his neck. Quark walks over, and it becomes apparent that the dead Quark is only a hologram. Quark objects to the loud noise his neck makes when it is broken. Garak objects that is was not that loud. They are running out of options because Quark objects to all the methods that Garak has suggested (he couldn't be disintegrated because he needed his body, the disruptor ruined Quark's clothing, the knife was too savage, nerve gas smelled bad, hanging took too long, and Quark would not willingly eat poisoned food). Garak comments that Quark does not seem to want to die, to which Quark objects that he just doesn't want to see it coming. Garak promises that Quark will never know what hit him.
A jittery Quark heads to bed while trying to stave off death by yelling he won't be surprised before he enters his room. He quickly falls asleep and awakes in what looks like the Divine Treasury.
Act Five
The first Grand Nagus, Gint (who looks suspiciously similar to Quark's brother Rom), comes to him and Quark realizes that he is dreaming. The Nagus (or at least Quark's conscience) tells Quark that he must break the contract. Quark asks how he can walk away from the Rules. To this, Gint explains that when he authored the Rules of Acquisition, he called them such as a marketing ploy, and considers them more like "suggestions". Gint explains that Quark is having this dream because he is looking for permission to break the contract. Quark realizes if Gint came to him in a dream and told him to break the contract, then it would be acceptable. Brunt then appears, and the three of them argue until Brunt begins strangling Quark, who wakes up in his sleep with his own hands around his throat.
The next day Quark refuses to honor the contract and Brunt smiles, as Quark has proved himself to be just another failure in a long line of weak-lobed Ferengi. However, Quark threatens that if he ever returns to his bar, he will never leave. Brunt immediately revokes Quark's business license, and slaps legal documents on the walls preventing any Ferengi business to continue and seizes all of his assets. Quark is left with no other choice but to close the bar immediately and indefinitely, and is forced to ask his customers to leave.
Kira arrives at the O'Briens' quarters where she has agreed to live for the duration of the pregnancy. Kira tells Molly that she is her aunt Kira and that Molly is welcome to play in her room anytime.
Quark sits in the bare area on the Promenade where his bar used to be, having been left with nothing, not even the shirt on his back which needs to be returned later. Rom tries to cheer him up by offering Quark some of his old clothes, but to no avail. However Julian enters with a crate of drinks, claiming that a patient gave them to him as a gift, and, as he cannot accept them, he is willing to give them to Quark. Then Jadzia arrives with a dozen glasses she was given as a gift by her sister that she claims are too ugly to keep.
Captain Sisko arrives and asks Quark if he can store several sets of tables and chairs from structural repair on level 2 of the habitat ring in the area, since it's currently free. Quark can scarcely believe what is happening, as the crew and residents start bringing in everything he needs to continue running the bar. Rom reminds his brother that Brunt didn't take all of his assets away, as Quark has apparently earned the loyalty and respect of many aboard the station. Despite being broke, Quark is left to ponder the thought that friends may be the most valuable asset of all. Overwhelmed by his friends showing their support he attempts to thank them, but is literally speechless.
Memorable quotes
"So... what you're telling me is... Major Kira's going to have my baby?"
- O'Brien, after Bashir tells him Kira will have to carry the baby to term
"It's as if I have to remind her she's pregnant!"
"Yeah. I guess the extra weight, the morning sickness, the mood swings, the medical examinations... they aren't reminders enough."
- O'Brien and Dax
"I needed another womb for the baby, and the only two other people on board were Major Kira and me."
"I think you made the right choice, doctor."
- Bashir and Sisko, talking about Bashir's "correct" choice to put the baby in Kira, not Bashir
"I'm dying!"
- Quark
"I have Dorek Syndrome."
"But that's incurable!"
"That's right! Which explains the dying part!"
"But Dorek Syndrome, it's so rare!"
"It strikes only one out of every five million Ferengi. I finally beat the odds."
- Quark and Rom, talking about the former's illness
"Have Doctor Bashir examine you when he gets back from the Gamma Quadrant!"
"Bashir? How good could he be? He doesn't even charge."
- Rom and Quark
"We're not Klingons. We're businessmen."
- Quark
"I want to hire you. Not as a tailor. As an assassin."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh yes you do. You weren't always a tailor."
"You're right. I used to be a gardener. Now if you have something you want weeded, you let me know."
- Quark and Elim Garak
"I don't want you to kill Brunt, I want you to kill me."
- Quark, asking Garak to assassinate him to satisfy a contract with Brunt for Quark's remains
"Wait a minute. You can't do this. I thought you were going to break the contact."
"What are the key words there? You thought."
- Rom and Quark, arguing over Quark's decision to have himself assassinated
"Garak, let's talk about death!"
- Quark
"Snapping vertebrae is out."
"We're running out of options... You don't want to be vaporized because you need a body. The disruptor ruined your clothing, the knife was too savage, the nerve gas smelled bad, hanging took too long and poison... What was wrong with poison?"
"It doesn't work! If I know the food is poisoned, I won't eat it."
- Quark and Elim Garak
"For a man who wants to kill himself you are strangely determined to live."
- Elim Garak
"I'm going to die, don't you worry about that, I just want to find the right way."
"Right way?"
"I don't want to see it coming. Or hear it or feel it or smell it. I just want to go on with my life and then [snaps his fingers] I'm dead."
"Ah, you want to be surprised!"
- Quark and Garak, arguing over how Quark is to be assassinated
"You have my word. You'll never know what hit you."
- Elim Garak in regards of Quark's wishes to be die without knowing how or when
"Would you buy a book called Suggestions of Acquisition?"
- The First Grand Nagus, about the fact that the name "Rules of Acquisition" was a marketing ploy
"I knew it. You're just like the rest of your family: weak-lobed degenerates. Another loser in a long line of failed Ferengis."
- Brunt
"Look, I've broken the contract, so do your job: take my assets, revoke my Ferengi business license, do whatever you have to do, then get out. And if I ever see you walk into my bar again..."
"Yes?"
"... you won't walk out."
- Quark and Brunt
"May I have your attention, please? Brunt, FCA. As of this moment, no further Ferengi commerce may be conducted in this bar! No Ferengi may be employed by this bar, no Ferengi may eat or drink in this bar, and no Ferengi... no Ferengi may do business with THAT MAN! Confiscation of assets will begin immediately."
"Ladies and gentlemen, this bar is closed until further notice. Thank you for your patronage."
- Brunt and Quark
"Look at them, brother. And you thought you had no assets."
"Sisko, Dax, Bashir, Morn? They're my assets?"
"To name a few."
"I guess you're right... I need a drink."
- Rom and Quark
Summary
Dax, Chief O'Brien, and Worf are in Ops discussing the trip that Bashir, Kira, and Keiko are on in the Gamma Quadrant. O'Brien frets to Worf and Dax on how he didn't want Keiko to go to Torad V in the first place "in her condition". Meanwhile, in his bar, Quark treats Rom to a glass of snail juice uncharacteristically on the house, to celebrate his return from Ferenginar and to announce that he is dying to all of his customers.
Act One
Quark declares he has Dorek Syndrome with just six days to live, which he learned of after his annual insurance physical. Rom takes some convincing that there's no other recourse, including suggesting talking to Dr. Bashir, but Quark doesn't think that will help. Quark soon turns to the significant debt he has and funeral arrangements to make. Rom suggests selling his vacuum-desiccated remains on the Ferengi Futures Exchange. Quark doesn't believe that will help, as he believes he is not viewed favorably by other Ferengi, "Starfleet's favorite bartender," a joke. Rom insists he try, so Quark agrees.
Shortly afterward in Ops, the USS Volga emerges from the wormhole with severe damage. Worf reports to Captain Sisko that Dr. Bashir has reported two injuries: Kira and Keiko. O'Brien rushes to the infirmary and learns from Kira that Keiko is still in surgery. He also learns that Kira is now carrying his son.
Act Two
O'Brien is now with Sisko and Bashir, who is explaining Keiko was injured in the accident with an asteroid in the Gamma Quadrant. She was stabilized, but Bashir had to move the baby to Kira to save its life and, interestingly, that due to the short gestation period of Bajorans, Kira must carry the baby to term. O'Brien has to process this. Later, Keiko and Kira soon recover and Kira goes to visit Keiko in her quarters, both feeling the weight of what's transpired and Keiko expressing her thanks.
Rom goes to visit Quark to hear about the sale. At first, it seems no one but Rom wants to buy a piece of Quark, which he of course finds insulting. He starts to dismay about his life choices in opening a bar on Deep Space 9, however, Quark is overjoyed to find that an anonymous bidder wants to buy all 52 discs for five hundred bars of latinum. Convinced the anonymous bidder is The Nagus and fearful that the bid will be retracted, Quark accepts the bid and sells his remains. Rom congratulates him.
Quark begins to arrange paying off his debts and arranging his funeral when Bashir informs him that his doctor on Ferenginar, Orpax, had made an error and he is not going to die. Quark is excited about the prospect of suing his doctor for malpractice; the continuation of his life is an afterthought. However, later, Brunt of the FCA arrives at his quarters and explains that he was the anonymous buyer. He condescendingly asks if Quark thought the Nagus placed the bid. The two laugh and agree that it would be a ridiculous idea. Quark explains that he is surprised that Brunt placed the bid and that he is not going to die. Brunt knows this already and has arrived to ensure that his merchandise, 52 discs of vacuum desiccated Quark, will be delivered on time in six days.
Act Three
Quark makes it clear that he is not dying, to which Brunt replies that he does not care that Quark isn't dying: he wants his merchandise. He intends to defile Quark's remains upon receiving them, and will not be talked out of the contract. Quark proceeds to offer Brunt a full refund and progressively larger amounts of latinum to try to convince Brunt to give up the deal. Brunt refuses all offers and tells Quark he will only accept his remains. When Quark asks what Brunt expects him to do, Brunt suggests Quark hire someone to strangle him – that way his body will be unmarked for desiccation. Quark is shocked and says they are not Klingons. Brunt tells Quark that this is personal. Brunt tells Quark that he considers him a menace to Ferengi society, citing the time he protected Quark's mother from an audit and secretly settling a strike at his bar. He loathes Quark for being a philanthropist. He doesn't gouge his customers as much as a Ferengi should. Selling medicine to Bajoran refugees has made him a generous humanitarian who has gone "Starfleet". All of this gives other Ferengi a bad name.
Quark begs that he can reform – that he can gouge his customers more and revoke his employee's vacation time. Brunt is disgusted by Quark's giving his employees vacation time and proceeds to start to leave the room. Quark cuts him off and tries to make another deal with him – surely there is another accommodation that Quark can make besides suicide? Brunt tells him the only way out is to break the contract. He wonders if Quark is Ferengi enough to keep the contract and hopes that he will break it. He wants to see Quark's assets sold to the lowest bidder, his mother begging on the street, and to have Quark cut off from all contact with his people. Brunt says that Quark is a disease, and that it is his job to cut him off.
Miles helps Keiko to a chair in their quarters. Keiko tells Miles that she has invited Kira over for dinner. The two agree that even seeing Kira every day would not be enough time for them to spend with their unborn child. She expresses frustration at having to make appointments to see her own child. Neither of them knows what to do.
Quark visits Garak's shop. He is busy helping Morn and informs Quark that his pants will not be ready for another week. Quark tells him he is there in order to hire him as an assassin. Garak feigns ignorance and says that before he was a tailor he was a gardener. Quark is not so easily dissuaded and tells him he still wants to hire him. Rom initially believes that Quark will have Brunt assassinated, but Quark reveals that he is the one that is to be killed.
Act Four
Rom is upset about Quark's intentions to go through with the contract. Quark explains that he is like no one else in their family; he is a Ferengi businessman. He will go through with the contract. His life is about his business and that means that he follows the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, and he will not stop following them if they are inconvenient. He is confident that if he continues to follow the Rules that he will find himself in the Divine Treasury after his death. Because he will have died the way he lived: as a Ferengi. He and Garak then leave to discuss the method of his death.
Kira visits Keiko and O'Brien to show them how much the baby is kicking. Kira is concerned but Keiko tells Kira that this is good, and that she thought Molly would kick her way of out. Keiko thanks Kira for sharing this with them. The two discuss the differences between Human and Bajoran pregnancies, and the fact that they do not know what Kira's symptoms will be because the baby is Human. Bajorans do not get morning sickness, but instead suffer from uncontrollable sneezing. Miles gets Kira a special pillow for her lower back. They invite her to remain for dinner and initially Kira does not want to impose. But Keiko insists that since Kira is carrying her baby she is now family and that besides dinner, the O'Briens also want to make a proposal.
Quark is eating dinner at the bar. Garak sneaks up behind him and breaks his neck. Quark walks over, and it becomes apparent that the dead Quark is only a hologram. Quark objects to the loud noise his neck makes when it is broken. Garak objects that is was not that loud. They are running out of options because Quark objects to all the methods that Garak has suggested (he couldn't be disintegrated because he needed his body, the disruptor ruined Quark's clothing, the knife was too savage, nerve gas smelled bad, hanging took too long, and Quark would not willingly eat poisoned food). Garak comments that Quark does not seem to want to die, to which Quark objects that he just doesn't want to see it coming. Garak promises that Quark will never know what hit him.
A jittery Quark heads to bed while trying to stave off death by yelling he won't be surprised before he enters his room. He quickly falls asleep and awakes in what looks like the Divine Treasury.
Act Five
The first Grand Nagus, Gint (who looks suspiciously similar to Quark's brother Rom), comes to him and Quark realizes that he is dreaming. The Nagus (or at least Quark's conscience) tells Quark that he must break the contract. Quark asks how he can walk away from the Rules. To this, Gint explains that when he authored the Rules of Acquisition, he called them such as a marketing ploy, and considers them more like "suggestions". Gint explains that Quark is having this dream because he is looking for permission to break the contract. Quark realizes if Gint came to him in a dream and told him to break the contract, then it would be acceptable. Brunt then appears, and the three of them argue until Brunt begins strangling Quark, who wakes up in his sleep with his own hands around his throat.
The next day Quark refuses to honor the contract and Brunt smiles, as Quark has proved himself to be just another failure in a long line of weak-lobed Ferengi. However, Quark threatens that if he ever returns to his bar, he will never leave. Brunt immediately revokes Quark's business license, and slaps legal documents on the walls preventing any Ferengi business to continue and seizes all of his assets. Quark is left with no other choice but to close the bar immediately and indefinitely, and is forced to ask his customers to leave.
Kira arrives at the O'Briens' quarters where she has agreed to live for the duration of the pregnancy. Kira tells Molly that she is her aunt Kira and that Molly is welcome to play in her room anytime.
Quark sits in the bare area on the Promenade where his bar used to be, having been left with nothing, not even the shirt on his back which needs to be returned later. Rom tries to cheer him up by offering Quark some of his old clothes, but to no avail. However Julian enters with a crate of drinks, claiming that a patient gave them to him as a gift, and, as he cannot accept them, he is willing to give them to Quark. Then Jadzia arrives with a dozen glasses she was given as a gift by her sister that she claims are too ugly to keep.
Captain Sisko arrives and asks Quark if he can store several sets of tables and chairs from structural repair on level 2 of the habitat ring in the area, since it's currently free. Quark can scarcely believe what is happening, as the crew and residents start bringing in everything he needs to continue running the bar. Rom reminds his brother that Brunt didn't take all of his assets away, as Quark has apparently earned the loyalty and respect of many aboard the station. Despite being broke, Quark is left to ponder the thought that friends may be the most valuable asset of all. Overwhelmed by his friends showing their support he attempts to thank them, but is literally speechless.
Memorable quotes
"So... what you're telling me is... Major Kira's going to have my baby?"
- O'Brien, after Bashir tells him Kira will have to carry the baby to term
"It's as if I have to remind her she's pregnant!"
"Yeah. I guess the extra weight, the morning sickness, the mood swings, the medical examinations... they aren't reminders enough."
- O'Brien and Dax
"I needed another womb for the baby, and the only two other people on board were Major Kira and me."
"I think you made the right choice, doctor."
- Bashir and Sisko, talking about Bashir's "correct" choice to put the baby in Kira, not Bashir
"I'm dying!"
- Quark
"I have Dorek Syndrome."
"But that's incurable!"
"That's right! Which explains the dying part!"
"But Dorek Syndrome, it's so rare!"
"It strikes only one out of every five million Ferengi. I finally beat the odds."
- Quark and Rom, talking about the former's illness
"Have Doctor Bashir examine you when he gets back from the Gamma Quadrant!"
"Bashir? How good could he be? He doesn't even charge."
- Rom and Quark
"We're not Klingons. We're businessmen."
- Quark
"I want to hire you. Not as a tailor. As an assassin."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh yes you do. You weren't always a tailor."
"You're right. I used to be a gardener. Now if you have something you want weeded, you let me know."
- Quark and Elim Garak
"I don't want you to kill Brunt, I want you to kill me."
- Quark, asking Garak to assassinate him to satisfy a contract with Brunt for Quark's remains
"Wait a minute. You can't do this. I thought you were going to break the contact."
"What are the key words there? You thought."
- Rom and Quark, arguing over Quark's decision to have himself assassinated
"Garak, let's talk about death!"
- Quark
"Snapping vertebrae is out."
"We're running out of options... You don't want to be vaporized because you need a body. The disruptor ruined your clothing, the knife was too savage, the nerve gas smelled bad, hanging took too long and poison... What was wrong with poison?"
"It doesn't work! If I know the food is poisoned, I won't eat it."
- Quark and Elim Garak
"For a man who wants to kill himself you are strangely determined to live."
- Elim Garak
"I'm going to die, don't you worry about that, I just want to find the right way."
"Right way?"
"I don't want to see it coming. Or hear it or feel it or smell it. I just want to go on with my life and then [snaps his fingers] I'm dead."
"Ah, you want to be surprised!"
- Quark and Garak, arguing over how Quark is to be assassinated
"You have my word. You'll never know what hit you."
- Elim Garak in regards of Quark's wishes to be die without knowing how or when
"Would you buy a book called Suggestions of Acquisition?"
- The First Grand Nagus, about the fact that the name "Rules of Acquisition" was a marketing ploy
"I knew it. You're just like the rest of your family: weak-lobed degenerates. Another loser in a long line of failed Ferengis."
- Brunt
"Look, I've broken the contract, so do your job: take my assets, revoke my Ferengi business license, do whatever you have to do, then get out. And if I ever see you walk into my bar again..."
"Yes?"
"... you won't walk out."
- Quark and Brunt
"May I have your attention, please? Brunt, FCA. As of this moment, no further Ferengi commerce may be conducted in this bar! No Ferengi may be employed by this bar, no Ferengi may eat or drink in this bar, and no Ferengi... no Ferengi may do business with THAT MAN! Confiscation of assets will begin immediately."
"Ladies and gentlemen, this bar is closed until further notice. Thank you for your patronage."
- Brunt and Quark
"Look at them, brother. And you thought you had no assets."
"Sisko, Dax, Bashir, Morn? They're my assets?"
"To name a few."
"I guess you're right... I need a drink."
- Rom and Quark
