Post by magicmuggle01 on Mar 1, 2019 11:30:37 GMT
Morn dies, leaving his entire estate to Quark, but some of Morn's old acquaintances want a piece of the action.
Summary
Odo enters Quark's to inform Morn that his cargo of his Livanian beets is starting to spoil and needs to be moved immediately. When Morn doesn't respond, Odo reaches out to touch Morn's shoulder, only to find "Morn" is a hologram. Quark informs him that Morn has been away from the station for the past two weeks. Odo is confused, and Quark explains that Morn is such a regular fixture in his bar, that business inevitably falls off when he's not there – the last time he was away, business dropped five percent. As if to prove his point, as they are talking, Chief O'Brien and Dr. Bashir enter the bar and greet "Morn" as they pass by, not noticing it's a hologram. Odo asks why the hologram doesn't talk, and Quark complains about the high cost of an interactive hologram generator; besides which, he prefers the company of the hologram to the real Morn, who "never shuts up."
Just then, Lt. Commander Dax and Captain Sisko enter and freeze in their tracks when they see "Morn" at the bar. They inform everyone that Morn died when his ship hit an ion storm.
Act One
A funeral is held at Quark's according to Lurian traditions, including gifts of food and drink for the deceased so they will have something to sustain them in the afterlife. The funeral is attended by almost everyone on the station, and there are many genuine outpourings of grief. Quark, of course, attempts to capitalize on this, selling off overstocked liquor by labeling it "Morn's favorite", and delivering a eulogy that ends by encouraging everyone to "keep Morn's seat warm" for eternity by spending their time in the bar. Odo is skeptical, guessing that, when all is said and done, the Ferengi didn't know anything about Morn, and is unaffected by his death. In private, Quark confides that he is deeply grieved: Morn failed to pay his last month's tab before inconsiderately dying.
Captain Sisko unseals Morn's will and discovers that he left everything to Quark. In accordance with station procedure, Odo inspects the contents of the bequest, and delightedly tells Quark that Morn's bank accounts are empty, and his only "assets" are his most recent cargo – the now-spoiled beets – and the contents of his quarters – which turn out to consist of a large mud bath (Morn's "bed") and a painting of a matador. Quark is baffled – Morn was one of his best customers, and must have had money somewhere.
Odo leaves Quark to mope in Morn's quarters, and after he leaves a nude woman appears out of the mud. The woman identifies herself as Morn's ex-wife Larell, who has come to claim her share of Morn's estate. Quark is amazed when Larell confides that Morn won one thousand bricks of gold-pressed latinum in the Lissepian Lottery. He's glad she came by.
Act Two
Quark starts searching for the latinum by emptying the tub of mud. Larell realizes he doesn't know where it is, and neither does she, but says it must be on the station somewhere. She starts to regret that Morn couldn't enjoy the latinum while stroking Quark's ear, but he knows what she's doing – getting to his good graces so she can share the latinum. Even though the latinum is Quark's, Larell threatens to tie Quark up in court for years if he doesn't cut her in. Besides, it's a lot of money and she promises to take a vacation with him. He's satisfied for the moment.
Over a game of tongo, Quark has told Dax about the whole thing, and that he's cut Larell in for 10%, but Dax is suspicious, saying he needs to watch his back. Quark understands, but is willing to keep her hanging for now.
Later, Quark finds two alien brothers (race unknown), Krit and Nahsk, have invaded his quarters. They claim they were business associates of Morn who had money owed to them. They then threaten Quark if he doesn't pay them, and break the matador painting over Quark's head when he tries to haggle them for a lower percentage. After they leave, however, Quark discovers there was an access chip hidden inside the painting that gave access to a storage locker in the Assay office. Quark is immediately excited and shouts out to Morn, thanking him.
Act Three
Bajoran security brings a small container to Odo's security office, but it contains only a single brick of latinum. Quark isn't worried, as he notices Morn wrote a bank account number on it, for the Bank of Bolias. He excuses himself to arrange delivery of Morn's savings.
On the way, he encounters Larell again, who steals the brick from Quark; however Quark remembers the number and knows the bank will only deliver it to him. Still on the way, he encounters the brothers, who deliver a thinly-veiled threat before letting him go. Just as Quark is about to contact the bank in his quarters, however, a disruptor is held to his head by a Human named Hain.
Act Four
Hain carefully has Quark leave the terminal to escort him to a holding cell. When Quark asks, he identifies himself as working with Lurian Security and said Morn was the crown prince and that his riches belonged to the Royal Family of Luria. When Hain learned about Larell, though, he pauses to think. Hain then says she'd been trying to blackmail the family for years. Instead of arresting Quark, Hain would ensure Quark got a sizable reward for helping capture Larell. He leaves Quark to continue calling the bank and telling him to leave the rest to him.
Meanwhile, back in the bar, Morn's absence is felt. O'Brien is fixing an optronic relay while sitting in his chair. Bashir comes by as well, and learns Quark is indisposed. After a quick exchange, O'Brien has to leave, so Bashir takes over sitting in the chair for awhile.
Later, Quark finds Larell in his quarters to discuss when the latinum will arrive when someone tries to pick the lock. Larell hides while Krit and Nahsk bypass the lock and threaten Quark. Quark's doorbell goes off, so Krit and Nahsk hide when Quark answers the door. Hain enters and Quark attempts to warn him of Quark's "guests" but he doesn't catch on while everyone in hiding comes out. It is revealed that Hain, Larell, Krit and Nahsk were all lying to Quark, and they (along with Morn) had been the ones behind the infamous Lissepian Mother's Day Heist. It turns out that Morn had betrayed them all and left with all one thousand bricks of gold-pressed latinum they had stolen, and they knew he was waiting for the statute of limitations to expire – which it did two weeks previous. Then, the group realizes they don't need Quark any more.
Act Five
At first they decide to kill Quark, but he reminds them that he's the only one who can take delivery of the latinum. Nahsk has the "bright" idea of severing Quark's thumb (the only piece they need), but Hain steps in and vetoes the idea – since they can't very well walk into the cargo bay with a severed thumb without attracting suspicion. Since they were going to split it five ways anyway, they agree to let Quark take Morn's place.
Refusing to leave Quark alone, they all go to Quark's Bar. Odo arrives and asks why the bar is closed at that hour. Quark indicates his new "partners," and introduces them as friends of Morn, with whom Quark has been "commiserating" in private. Quickly catching on, Odo asks how much longer they will be commiserating, and Quark says, until 1600 hours the next day – the time the shipment of latinum will arrive.
Quark and his "friends"
After accepting the shipment, Quark goes to count the bricks only to find Hain, Larell, Krit and Nahsk have all drawn weapons on each other. Krit says Hain is outgunned, as his brother may be "slow," but he'll get Hain in the end. Nahsk takes offense at being called slow, and turns on his brother. A firefight breaks out, so Quark jumps into the cargo container. Odo and his deputies arrive and apprehend the four robbers – Larell, being the only one unhurt, is taken to a cell, while the rest are taken to the infirmary. When Odo assures Quark that the four will be in jail for a long time, Quark is ecstatic to be the sole owner of the bricks. But when he knocks two together, they crumble in his hands. Quark, aghast, says that someone has extracted all the latinum from the bricks, leaving only "worthless gold."
That evening, Quark is fuming behind the bar and attempts to rip Morn's stool from the floor. Odo arrives and says someone's here to see him – and in walks a very alive Morn, who takes his usual stool. Quark demands an explanation. Morn starts to open his mouth, but Quark cuts him off, saying he doesn't want to hear it, he's already figured it out: Morn knew that his former associates would come after him as soon as the statute of limitations expired, so he faked his death and pretended to leave his property to Quark, knowing the Ferengi would do whatever it took to get the latinum, and succeed in holding off his four partners until they turned on each other. Morn nods guiltily, confirming Quark's story.
Quark angrily says he could have been killed, and demands to know what really happened to the latinum. Instead of replying, Morn picks up a small glass and regurgitates a small quantity of liquid latinum – about 100 bricks' worth – into it. Amazed, Quark realizes that Morn swallowed the latinum and has been carrying it around in his second stomach all these years (which also explains why his hair fell out). Morn pushes the glass to Quark, as fair reward for his help. Quark is more than satisfied, and, intrigued by this scheming, under-handed side of Morn he didn't suspect before, starts to discuss possible joint ventures for the future, such as selling Morn's gold dust, since some primitive cultures still consider it valuable.
Memorable quotes
"You know Morn, he never shuts up."
- Quark
"I wonder who came up with the idea of suspending liquid latinum inside worthless bits of gold."
"Probably someone who got tired of making change with an eyedropper."
- Quark and Dax
"I'll unload everything and use the profits to… (Sniffs) what is that smell?"
"Your inheritance: Livanian beets. Very ripe."
- Quark and Odo
"Oh, that-that can't be! There's-there's no latinum in these bricks!"
"What?"
"Someone's extracted ALL THE LATINUM! There's nothing here but worthless gold!"
"And it's all yours."
"NO! NOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
- Quark and Odo
"Most men don't know how to defer gratification."
"You don't make it easy."
- Larell after stroking Quark's lobes
"Take that gold dust of yours. It doesn't have to be a total loss. I hear there are some primitive cultures who consider it quite valuable..."
- Quark to Morn
Summary
Odo enters Quark's to inform Morn that his cargo of his Livanian beets is starting to spoil and needs to be moved immediately. When Morn doesn't respond, Odo reaches out to touch Morn's shoulder, only to find "Morn" is a hologram. Quark informs him that Morn has been away from the station for the past two weeks. Odo is confused, and Quark explains that Morn is such a regular fixture in his bar, that business inevitably falls off when he's not there – the last time he was away, business dropped five percent. As if to prove his point, as they are talking, Chief O'Brien and Dr. Bashir enter the bar and greet "Morn" as they pass by, not noticing it's a hologram. Odo asks why the hologram doesn't talk, and Quark complains about the high cost of an interactive hologram generator; besides which, he prefers the company of the hologram to the real Morn, who "never shuts up."
Just then, Lt. Commander Dax and Captain Sisko enter and freeze in their tracks when they see "Morn" at the bar. They inform everyone that Morn died when his ship hit an ion storm.
Act One
A funeral is held at Quark's according to Lurian traditions, including gifts of food and drink for the deceased so they will have something to sustain them in the afterlife. The funeral is attended by almost everyone on the station, and there are many genuine outpourings of grief. Quark, of course, attempts to capitalize on this, selling off overstocked liquor by labeling it "Morn's favorite", and delivering a eulogy that ends by encouraging everyone to "keep Morn's seat warm" for eternity by spending their time in the bar. Odo is skeptical, guessing that, when all is said and done, the Ferengi didn't know anything about Morn, and is unaffected by his death. In private, Quark confides that he is deeply grieved: Morn failed to pay his last month's tab before inconsiderately dying.
Captain Sisko unseals Morn's will and discovers that he left everything to Quark. In accordance with station procedure, Odo inspects the contents of the bequest, and delightedly tells Quark that Morn's bank accounts are empty, and his only "assets" are his most recent cargo – the now-spoiled beets – and the contents of his quarters – which turn out to consist of a large mud bath (Morn's "bed") and a painting of a matador. Quark is baffled – Morn was one of his best customers, and must have had money somewhere.
Odo leaves Quark to mope in Morn's quarters, and after he leaves a nude woman appears out of the mud. The woman identifies herself as Morn's ex-wife Larell, who has come to claim her share of Morn's estate. Quark is amazed when Larell confides that Morn won one thousand bricks of gold-pressed latinum in the Lissepian Lottery. He's glad she came by.
Act Two
Quark starts searching for the latinum by emptying the tub of mud. Larell realizes he doesn't know where it is, and neither does she, but says it must be on the station somewhere. She starts to regret that Morn couldn't enjoy the latinum while stroking Quark's ear, but he knows what she's doing – getting to his good graces so she can share the latinum. Even though the latinum is Quark's, Larell threatens to tie Quark up in court for years if he doesn't cut her in. Besides, it's a lot of money and she promises to take a vacation with him. He's satisfied for the moment.
Over a game of tongo, Quark has told Dax about the whole thing, and that he's cut Larell in for 10%, but Dax is suspicious, saying he needs to watch his back. Quark understands, but is willing to keep her hanging for now.
Later, Quark finds two alien brothers (race unknown), Krit and Nahsk, have invaded his quarters. They claim they were business associates of Morn who had money owed to them. They then threaten Quark if he doesn't pay them, and break the matador painting over Quark's head when he tries to haggle them for a lower percentage. After they leave, however, Quark discovers there was an access chip hidden inside the painting that gave access to a storage locker in the Assay office. Quark is immediately excited and shouts out to Morn, thanking him.
Act Three
Bajoran security brings a small container to Odo's security office, but it contains only a single brick of latinum. Quark isn't worried, as he notices Morn wrote a bank account number on it, for the Bank of Bolias. He excuses himself to arrange delivery of Morn's savings.
On the way, he encounters Larell again, who steals the brick from Quark; however Quark remembers the number and knows the bank will only deliver it to him. Still on the way, he encounters the brothers, who deliver a thinly-veiled threat before letting him go. Just as Quark is about to contact the bank in his quarters, however, a disruptor is held to his head by a Human named Hain.
Act Four
Hain carefully has Quark leave the terminal to escort him to a holding cell. When Quark asks, he identifies himself as working with Lurian Security and said Morn was the crown prince and that his riches belonged to the Royal Family of Luria. When Hain learned about Larell, though, he pauses to think. Hain then says she'd been trying to blackmail the family for years. Instead of arresting Quark, Hain would ensure Quark got a sizable reward for helping capture Larell. He leaves Quark to continue calling the bank and telling him to leave the rest to him.
Meanwhile, back in the bar, Morn's absence is felt. O'Brien is fixing an optronic relay while sitting in his chair. Bashir comes by as well, and learns Quark is indisposed. After a quick exchange, O'Brien has to leave, so Bashir takes over sitting in the chair for awhile.
Later, Quark finds Larell in his quarters to discuss when the latinum will arrive when someone tries to pick the lock. Larell hides while Krit and Nahsk bypass the lock and threaten Quark. Quark's doorbell goes off, so Krit and Nahsk hide when Quark answers the door. Hain enters and Quark attempts to warn him of Quark's "guests" but he doesn't catch on while everyone in hiding comes out. It is revealed that Hain, Larell, Krit and Nahsk were all lying to Quark, and they (along with Morn) had been the ones behind the infamous Lissepian Mother's Day Heist. It turns out that Morn had betrayed them all and left with all one thousand bricks of gold-pressed latinum they had stolen, and they knew he was waiting for the statute of limitations to expire – which it did two weeks previous. Then, the group realizes they don't need Quark any more.
Act Five
At first they decide to kill Quark, but he reminds them that he's the only one who can take delivery of the latinum. Nahsk has the "bright" idea of severing Quark's thumb (the only piece they need), but Hain steps in and vetoes the idea – since they can't very well walk into the cargo bay with a severed thumb without attracting suspicion. Since they were going to split it five ways anyway, they agree to let Quark take Morn's place.
Refusing to leave Quark alone, they all go to Quark's Bar. Odo arrives and asks why the bar is closed at that hour. Quark indicates his new "partners," and introduces them as friends of Morn, with whom Quark has been "commiserating" in private. Quickly catching on, Odo asks how much longer they will be commiserating, and Quark says, until 1600 hours the next day – the time the shipment of latinum will arrive.
Quark and his "friends"
After accepting the shipment, Quark goes to count the bricks only to find Hain, Larell, Krit and Nahsk have all drawn weapons on each other. Krit says Hain is outgunned, as his brother may be "slow," but he'll get Hain in the end. Nahsk takes offense at being called slow, and turns on his brother. A firefight breaks out, so Quark jumps into the cargo container. Odo and his deputies arrive and apprehend the four robbers – Larell, being the only one unhurt, is taken to a cell, while the rest are taken to the infirmary. When Odo assures Quark that the four will be in jail for a long time, Quark is ecstatic to be the sole owner of the bricks. But when he knocks two together, they crumble in his hands. Quark, aghast, says that someone has extracted all the latinum from the bricks, leaving only "worthless gold."
That evening, Quark is fuming behind the bar and attempts to rip Morn's stool from the floor. Odo arrives and says someone's here to see him – and in walks a very alive Morn, who takes his usual stool. Quark demands an explanation. Morn starts to open his mouth, but Quark cuts him off, saying he doesn't want to hear it, he's already figured it out: Morn knew that his former associates would come after him as soon as the statute of limitations expired, so he faked his death and pretended to leave his property to Quark, knowing the Ferengi would do whatever it took to get the latinum, and succeed in holding off his four partners until they turned on each other. Morn nods guiltily, confirming Quark's story.
Quark angrily says he could have been killed, and demands to know what really happened to the latinum. Instead of replying, Morn picks up a small glass and regurgitates a small quantity of liquid latinum – about 100 bricks' worth – into it. Amazed, Quark realizes that Morn swallowed the latinum and has been carrying it around in his second stomach all these years (which also explains why his hair fell out). Morn pushes the glass to Quark, as fair reward for his help. Quark is more than satisfied, and, intrigued by this scheming, under-handed side of Morn he didn't suspect before, starts to discuss possible joint ventures for the future, such as selling Morn's gold dust, since some primitive cultures still consider it valuable.
Memorable quotes
"You know Morn, he never shuts up."
- Quark
"I wonder who came up with the idea of suspending liquid latinum inside worthless bits of gold."
"Probably someone who got tired of making change with an eyedropper."
- Quark and Dax
"I'll unload everything and use the profits to… (Sniffs) what is that smell?"
"Your inheritance: Livanian beets. Very ripe."
- Quark and Odo
"Oh, that-that can't be! There's-there's no latinum in these bricks!"
"What?"
"Someone's extracted ALL THE LATINUM! There's nothing here but worthless gold!"
"And it's all yours."
"NO! NOOO!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
- Quark and Odo
"Most men don't know how to defer gratification."
"You don't make it easy."
- Larell after stroking Quark's lobes
"Take that gold dust of yours. It doesn't have to be a total loss. I hear there are some primitive cultures who consider it quite valuable..."
- Quark to Morn
